Every year around this time people all over the world are shirking their resolutions they made only a week ago! Shocking...  I know.  Statistics say, only 3% of the people who make "New Year's Resolutions" actually follow through with them all year long.  Those are incredibly high odds stacked against anyone who dares to resolve to be better this year than the last.  But these are the kind of odds we Leaders yearn for...  To test our strength and, most importantly, our resolve!

You know, that's a funny word, resolve.  It's a word that implies power, force, tenacity, free will, and more importantly...  Determination.  Yet we take it for granted and pin it up every year with delusions of grandeur that we never actually intend to keep.  I think it's just something most people do as a ritual of "Ringing in the New Year" than they do for the betterment of themselves.

So, why all this doom and gloom?  Because it's important to understand perceptions others have and ones we may have before we can ever hope to do anything about them.  Stephen Covey writes about our personal perception in his book, "7 Habits of Highly Effective People." Only he calls it "Your Paradigm," which I like, by the way.  I like it because it's another one of those words with implied power and mystery.

In "7 Habits" Mr. Covey talks about how someone's paradigms have lasting effects in how we play out our roles in life.

...whether they shift us in positive or negative directions, whether they are instantaneous or developmental, paradigm shifts move us from one way of seeing the world to another.  And those shifts create powerful change.  Our paradigms, correct or incorrect, are the sources of our attitudes and behaviors, and ultimately our relationships with others.

That was the most important paragraph I've read so far this year.  Our paradigm, how we view our world around us... or our perception of our world, is the basis of how we react to circumstances in our world.

Such as the person who views themselves as the victim.  Every confrontation they encounter only hardens their perception, or paradigm that they are truly a victim of circumstance.  They are more anxious and take things personally when they aren't meant to be personal.  They live in a world where they actually believe to some degree or another that people are just out to get them, to watch them fail... miserably!

Or how about the person that believes there is only good in the world and no harm will come to them if they stick to their beliefs.  They are positive and trusting, trying to help everyone who comes their way.  They live in a world where there are no muggers, rapist, or criminals, just misunderstood people trying to express themselves.

Now these are both extreme paradigms to live in but none the less, everyone has met someone at one time or another that would fit into one of these categories or another.  Most would agree that neither perception of the world is correct or healthy, one might get you killed and the other might wind you up all alone in an empty house.

But you may be surprised to find out that once in awhile each and every one of us puts on the "Victim Cap" or the "Cap of Innocence."  And it never works out the way we want it to, either.  But if we are open to ourselves and to others around us we can shift our paradigm to a more realistic and useful perception.

WARNING: If you find yourself in the corner grocery store angry about buying a loaf of bread for $5 and thinking about all the ways those Mean Corporate Executives are spending the thousands or millions of people's $5 bills.  Stop yourself and ask, "Is this a realistic paradigm I'm living?"

My phrase for 2010 is "Convictions in Action" because it signifies the one area I need to work on in my life more than anything...  Procrastination!  Yeah, that's my warm cuddly enemy that zaps all kinds of success from my life.  So this Year my Resolution is to BE PROACTIVE.  I use both phrases throughout the day.

Like when my wife asked me to make the bed this morning.  I thought, okay no big deal.  Then, after 2 movies I came upstairs to change clothes and the bed still wasn't made.  As I started to grab my clothes and take a shower I stopped, sighed and thought, "Be Proactive.  These are your Convictions in Action."  Then turned.  Made the bed.  And went on about my business.  It only took me about 2 minutes but, it was the act of simply delaying that was about to kill my resolution before it even started.  Besides I knew my wife wasn't going to be annoyed with me when she got home since I had done what she asked.

It's time we all started to be more Proactive in our own lives.  With our spouses, children, friends, and neighbors.  Broaden your resolve and follow through with a resolution that liberates your independence so, others that need to can depend on you for support.

Find out more about being proactive with Steven R. Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People"

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As Christmas day draws near, I find myself (as I do every year) going back over the years, recognizing what got me here, and for the most part... Reveling in nostalgia. Some holidays past stand out more than others, and I can remember all the way back to 4th grade easily. 4th Grade was pretty awesome because I got a whole bunch of 12" Tall G.I. JOES... Well more like 4 but that's a whole bunch when you're that age!


Some I spent with long distant family and friends. Others were spent with only a few people. I don't remember ever having a bad Christmas... Well, that's not entirely true. One year, when I was really young, my mom didn't get me the correct Mutant Ninja Turtle so, as any young boy would do, I voiced my opinion in a very defiant and boisterous manner. Needless to say, I was sent to my room.


But the most memorable Christmas I can remember comes back to me every year, and it's the most important lesson I ever learned...


When I was about 12 yrs old I started acting a little more unruly than usual. I was beginning my rebellious phase, or at least trying to! That entire year I stepped on peoples feelings, did what I wanted, started smoking, and I pretty much just stayed grounded all year! This whole year was really a lot like going through the local judicial system.


I would get caught doing something stupid. A good Samaritan (AKA, one of my sisters) would see me doing whatever it was that I wasn't supposed to be doing and go inform the authorities. An officer (AKA, MOM, a neighbor, or a relative) would come and arrest me. I would be brought before The Judge (AKA, MOM) and a hearing would start. The Prosecution (AKA, whoever caught me) would present their case (I saw Adam doing __________). I would confirm this was true and then would be handed down the sentencing. Generally a grounding, a spanking, or if it was bad enough, BOTH!


I would serve my time. Meet with the parole board (AKA, MOM). After passing the Parole Hearing, I would then be swept in front of the probation officer (AKA, MOM). Who would then inform me of my community service (ie, mowing the lawn, dinner dishes, etc.). Then my PO would also let me know that under no uncertain terms was I allowed to... do whatever got me here to begin with or there would be little possibility of quick parole on the next round.


After a time my mom got tired of me being in her court room. I was just tired of people telling on me! So, my mom, in her motherly wisdom started scheming.


It was getting close to Christmas and I think was starting to act a little bit better, still a hanging on to a little bit of the rebellion. Winning small battles but other than that, I wasn't really causing any trouble. So, I was looking forward to Christmas, thinking I had behaved myself long enough to at least get something good.


So there we were, Christmas Eve, the day where we are all allowed to open one present before Christmas. Sometimes they were picked for you and other times you got to pick them yourself. Well, mine got picked for me. Our dear friend Jimmy, who worked at the local coal mines, had given me mine. It was huge and heavy! I was so excited, I didn't have the slightest clue what it could be! With exuberant glee I tore open the package to find a Big... Huge... Piece of Coal in my lap. That's right, it was coal. The first and only time Santa was able to get a hold of some coal and deliver it to my house. This was no ordinary piece of coal you would put in the stockings, this fit inside a Sprite 12 pack! I think he had been stock piling this stuff for years!


With tears in my eyes, they asked me if I wanted to start treating people with the respect and dignity they deserved. I nodded a weak nod and hugged my mom. It got real sappy, you know how it goes. I was then given my real present which I kept for the next 10 yrs or better. It was my favorite plaid shirt.


It wasn't my favorite because of the style, or colors, or how it looked on me. It was my favorite because of the lesson I learned to get that shirt.
"People should be treated with unyielding respect, dignity, and honor. WE are all miracles, and should be treated in that manner."


Now, that you've read mine please tell me what you think and also tell me what your most memorable Christmas was. I would love to hear from some of you guys.


Post a comment below and tell me about your most memorable Christmas you can remember.


Thanks for reading and have a safe and fun Christmas!

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Define leadership... A few weeks ago, some of my friends asked me to define leadership. Which excited me since, I love challenges and employing new opportunities to get the people around me to think more "outside the box" instead of the more normal, circumstantial thinking.


So, I asked them, "Well, what do you think a leader is?"
Here are some of the answers they gave me:


-Leadership is a person who is well liked in a position of power.
-It's someone who is admired.
-Someone who has respect and influence with people.
-A person who has authority in a company.


These are all great descriptions of a leader but, it took them almost 20 minutes or more to come up with these ideas. See, most people have a vague idea what a leader is and what leadership does but few think about it enough to truly describe it's full potential.


Even though, they come in contact with leadership on a daily basis, and it's effects can last months, years, and even centuries, people just don't put a whole lot of stock into this area of life. And there are a multitude of reasons why this has happened... Maybe some have become complacent, self-centered, or even power hungry... Either way, sometimes people just need a little reminder of some of the important things in life.


Now, lets think about the word "leadership"...


The word "leadership" is used to describe certain actions, positions, and attitudes of individuals, groups, and those with an influencial role within society.


Leadership implies a lot of power and popularity. When we think of a leader or someone in a leadership position we think of the President, Congressmen, CEO's, Entrepreneurs, Mom's and Dad's. These are all positions (not actual people) in our society we associate freedom, influence, and power whether, it's political, business, or simply household power. We all regard the people holding these positions in high esteem and think they have it made... (Or at the very least, we think they're doing something right.) We put them on a pedestal and think, "Man what I wouldn't give to be the _____________ (insert position here)."


Though these positions in and of themselves have little in common with one another (since some are political, business, and/or household), there is definately a single common factor in all of those positions listed above... It's relationships. Relationships with people determine the success or failure in every aspect of our lives. Let's face it, without people... What's the point?


Now, that might seem a little bit extreme and you might even be saying, "I didn't need any help when I replaced the door knob in my house last week." On the surface you're right, but you still needed people to manufacture, ship, and sell the door knob to you. And if anyone of those relationships failed you wouldn't have been able to fix the door when you did.


So, whenever I see a leader, I always look at the relationships he or she has with the people around them. How they treat their team is essentially their public portfolio of success. Watch some of the leaders around you, evaluate their relationships, and determine for yourself the effectiveness of their leadership. Remember, this is about observation and learning, not gossip. If their relationships aren't strong, then you may see their effectiveness as a leader compromised. But if their relationships are strong, they'll have a greater influence.


Leadership is a BIG topic. There are so many different styles, mentalities, and roles that ecompass everything about leadership. So, I'll cut this short and give you my definition of leadership:


Leadership - the Art of expanding social influence to accomplish a certain goal.


One day, everyone will be called on to lead... Will you Rise to the occassion?


Here's some recommened books I have found to be extremely helpful in developing my leadership skills by understanding relationships, mentality, and roles in my own life.

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Chris Brady and Orrin Woodward talk about their new book:

Launching a Leadership Revolution

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